14 years ago today...

nick's 3rd b'day...

i was in the hospital in orlando, fl snuggling with my first new baby boy. wow, i can hardly believe it has been that long since i became a mommy! what's even harder to imagine is all of the things that life has brought in those 14 years. a lot of changes and a lot of tough times, but a lot of great times too. one of these days i'll get my scanner going and upload some great pics of when he was little and we'll take a little "walk down memory lane" (much to his chagrin, i'm sure!)...

my favorite picture of him as a little boy is when we were on a pastor's retreat at snowshoe, wv in august. the retreat was over and we were heading home and decided to take a detour to summit lake and look around a bit. there was an old hand pump water well right in the middle of the area between the lake and parking lot and we decided to show nick how it works. you pump the handle, wait, then the water comes out. he saw this happen a couple of times and would try to get a drink of the water but it would stop before he could get any. he decided to put his head up there to get a drink as jerry was pumping it, and he ended up soaked. i got a picture of it just as the water was coming down on his head! (i just remembered...this is the summer the "macarena" came out and we were watching something about it on the tv in the room at snowshoe...that's where we learned the dance. haha)

some of my favorite memories of when he was little is how much he loved super heroes. he could climb like spiderman through the hallway at his grandma's house. he would climb up the wall at the living room end of the hall until he was at least 4-5 feet up the wall, then he would climb the length of the hall at that height! one time he thought he was superman and wanted to try to fly off the 4th level of a parking garage...luckily i figured out why he wanted to look over the edge! another time he insisted he needed his superman pajamas to be in his diaper bag at church (because i wouldn't let him wear it to church)...when i went to pick him up the lady in the nursery had let him put the shirt on, cape and all, and he took off running around the church grounds with his arms out the sides, cape blowing in the wind and yelling "i'm superman, i'm superman!" as he was weaving in and out between the church members...good times!

now he's 14, he still makes me laugh on a daily basis, and he gives me at least three hugs every night before he finally makes it into his room to go to bed. he is turning into such a great guy, not that i ever doubted he would, but it makes me so satisfied to see how he is turning out. through all of the changes, tough times and all, he is amazing!

i'll close this post with an essay he wrote for school this week:

Changing Diversity
by Nick Bolt


“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.”
– C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis’ outlook is that of which we should all strive to emulate. We better our selves, change ourselves, or else we will become gangrenous. However, we must take small steps, because you cannot aim above your resources and ability. Things must be immediately attainable with ability to serve in the future. For me, it is getting a college education so I can better serve my community. I then can go into the work field and support my views with tangible monetary backing. I can encourage better recycling programs and suggest new ways to make cleaner power. My voice could back lessons that are more diverse in the classroom, so that students can learn about different social groups for more than just a month at a time.

Indeed a college degree helps one’s chances of positively impacting their community, but there are different levels. Monetarily contributing to certain causes with income gained through your college education. A degree isn’t always necessary, many people create new charities and projects that unfortunately rely on donations. Though seldom successfully combined, a person who manages to back their own cause can succeed more than the latter examples. Personally, I hope to enter the field of Biomedical Engineering, a lucrative career path where I could sustain my own projects and help to better the state of Florida.

For instance, I would like to see more eco-friendly energy sources of power. A great addition to a “green” source of power would be a way to recycle simultaneously. With processes that can turn landfills into methane energy, it is definitely possible.

Eventually I would also like to see more, maybe organize, assorted themes in subjects like American and World History. Instead of focusing on African American views during certain events in history for a single month, show them more often through the whole of a curriculum. These short periods seem overly pandering and sometimes malodorous. By incorporating these concepts into everyday lessons, students can have an open view of events in the world and our country. While parents may continually instill their passively biased views, eventually broad-minded outlooks of future generations will abolish these dauntingly narrow-minded ideals.

In brief, my plans to better our state and my community are rooted in various areas, though all stem from one main obstacle, higher education. My hopes of alternative recycling-based electricity and diverse historical views in textbooks could be fulfilled by anyone with the determination to do so. To like-minded people who wish for such high goals, I would urge them to heed the words of Mother Teresa, a forerunner in diversity around the world, “Do not wait for leaders: do it alone, person to person.”

lazy weekend...

we've just been hanging out around the house this weekend and doing pretty much nothing, it's been really nice! (especially since i'm so tired all of the time and jerry's not felt well for a few days)

we drove to dade city to see the fireworks and got there just in time to get a really good spot just before they started. we were closer sitting in the car than if we'd gone inside the fairgrounds to watch them. afterward we got fireworks and let them off at the house until midnight...i got a lot, so we can let them off tonight too. i love letting off fireworks, i have so many cool memories of it throughout my life...from blowing up cans, my step-dad having to run out into the meadow to stomp out a fire, to shooting off roman candles down the street (holding it on the ground with your foot and balls of fire literally shooting down the street!), watching my kids enjoy sparklers, Nick trying to blow up an orange last year, me about blowing us all up last night...fun times and good memories! i think that i, thanks to growing up in the country and burning our trash, have a little bit of pyromaniac in me, just enough to be silly, but not enough to really be dangerous. it has also been a bit of a good thing too, because i'm not scared to just go up to a small flame or cinders in the grass and stomp them out so no one steps on them barefoot.

on another note, for those who may be wondering...i don't have gestational diabetes. the 3 hour test on monday was brutal because i was so thirsty and having back pain while sitting there for so long, but after having blood drawn 5 times, the tests came back negative, so that's a good thing. my iron was a little low, but i guess we'll discuss that this week when i go for my ultrasound to check the location of the placenta (and hopefully get some measurements of the baby too...). little bubba is really starting to get cramped i think, he tries to stretch out and one big bump will be up under my ribcage and the other bump will be poking the opposite hip bone, and he doesn't like being pushed back in place because he'll just stay there and refuse to move to make mommy feel more comfortable. little booger! i just can't believe it's getting so close to his arrival, only a few more weeks (and sooooo much to do to get ready still)!!!

i will lift my eyes...

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it
together, God

this song is by bebo norman. i heard it for the first time at camp this past summer and it was just so eye opening to hear the words and feel them at the same time. i haven't heard the song in awhile and i was singing it today...just wanted to post it here to help me remember...

Remembering Ruth...

I was just reading on a forum about aprons and patterns and someone posted a picture of an apron pattern book her daughter found in her grandmother's steamer trunk. Here's what she said that set me off on my reminiscent tangent...

"Isnt that just adorable??? I know I am getting a little carried away with it but it is just so special to me. AND best thing...it smells just like my granny's house. All I could do was hold it to my face and smile. There are aprons to be made..."

So I have this old trunk, it's dark and made of metal and wood with leather handles on the sides. The metal has this beautiful scrolling flower pattern on it. It sits in my family room with a vintage table cloth draped over it and a lamp on top. Every once-in-awhile I open up the trunk. There's a wooden tray in the top that comes out, and underneath are the wonderful quilts I inherited along with the trunk. One is lavender and is tied rather than stitched. The other is yellow and just beautiful with all of the many pieces of fabrics that were most-likely dresses and clothing worn by family members of whoever made it. When you open the lid of the trunk, there's a bit of that old musty smell that you smell in museums and old basements. But when you pull out the quilts, they smell like my Grandma Frame. So I close my eyes and remember...

Grandma Frame was not my biological grandmother, she was the mother of my step-dad who married my mom when I was 5 years old. She never treated me as if I weren't a part of the "Frame family", and she taught me a lot of things.

Grandma was a piano teacher, and it was from her that I learned to play. She would make me practice 30 minutes every day, which bugged me at the time but I'm ever so grateful for it now. She could play the piano like you wouldn't believe. Her fingers just flew over the keys, even when her arthritis was bothering here. She would play "Eidleweiss Glide" and "Woodland Echoes" and my cousins and I would dance around the livingroom to the music. Sometimes, if were were lucky, she'd pull out this beautiful pink dress she'd made as a girl for a school program and let us take turns wearing it while she played. I have that dress also...it's made of fuschia colored cheese cloth with tissue paper flowers sewn onto it. It's not nearly as "vogue" as we thought it was when we were little girls, but it's still so very special to pull it out and look at it and think of those great times. Now, my daughter sees it and wants to try it on...I think she may be old enough to be careful and not rip it soon.

Grandma was a seamstress, and it was from her that I learned to sew. From the very first year she knew me, she made clothes for me. The first dress I remember her making was a pink gingham Easter dress that went to my ankles. It was sleeveless, and she made my mom a matching dress. The next year, Mom was pregnant with my little brother, and she still made us matching dresses. Mine was pink and hers was blue. She made me skirts and vests, and even a beautiful plaid taffeta dress for Christmas one year. Thanks to Grandma, I made my own wedding gown. And thanks to Grandma, I can sew clothes for my own daughter, as well as many other items. She also taught me how to embroider and do latchhook rugs, along with many other creative/crafty things.

Grandma was a cook, and it was partially from her that I learned to bake and cook almost anything that I can imagine. My first memory of cooking was with Grandma Corky, my mom's mother, she let me help make scrambled eggs. But, Grandma Frame could make anything taste good and nothing ever went to waste. She made the prettiest gingerbread church, yummy candies and cookies, and all sorts of cakes and pies. She could fry chicken better that Colonel Sanders, and she could even make bologna "salad" sandwiches taste good. She canned everything my grandpa grew in the garden, and her homemade icecream was to die for. Thanks to Grandma, my kids eat a variety of foods and love almost everything I make. My husband touts my meatloaf as being better than his grandma's...and that says a lot! She taught me a love of providing delicious and nutritious meals for my family, and it's because of her that I absolutely love making Thanksgiving dinner as my own tradition, along with making a variety of Christmas cookies and goodies every year.

Grandma was frugal, and I learned how to "waste not, want not" thanks to her. When Grandma died, she lived in a small 2 bedroom home...a far cry from the spacious 5 bedroom home she lived in for years prior, which also had a full basement. We were amazed at how much stuff she had neatly tucked away in that tiny home. She was organized and still saved a lot of items for reuse that most people would toss in the garbage these days. She married Grandpa at the beginning of the Depression, they were homesteaders in New Mexico, and they had 5 children. She couldn't afford not to be frugal and resourceful. Thanks to her example, I've been able to make ends meet at times when it was next to impossible.

All of the things above are great, but the best thing about my Grandma is that she loved the Lord and used her talents for Him. Thanks to her, I learned to be willing to let God use me also. She sang in the choir and played the piano at church. She helped people no matter what the sacrifice might be to her. She prayed before every meal, along with Grandpa, and read her Bible and prayed every day. I also have her Bible, and it's amazing how worn and loved it is...it's barely held together by tape, so I keep it safely put away.

My Grandma Frame was precious to me, and she taught me so much about life and living it to the fullest. She taught me about sacrifice and giving of yourself for the well-being of others. Her white hair, smiling eyes and quiet demeanor were always a comfort to be around. Everyone loved going to Grandma's house, and we had family reunions and get-togethers there several times a year. The first time my husband met her, we counted over 100 people entered her home at one point or another over the course of just a day or two.

I realized this evening, as I was reading on the forum I mentioned, that it's been 10 years since Grandma passed away on October 31st. Our family was planning to go to her home for Thanksgiving that year, so we did. But it just wasn't the same without Grandma there, putting everyone to work peeling potatoes, setting the table and washing the dishes after dinner, that became my job. My children will never personally know how wonderful of a woman she was, but her legacy lives on in me, and hopefully I can instill just a portion of what she taught me into their lives. Elisabeth is expressing desires to learn to play piano and also to sew, and those are two things I can pass on to her...and in that way, along with so many others, we can always remember Ruth Mabel Frame.

Leaving a Legacy...

I've been thinking a lot about life and how it's really so fleeting. Over the past couple of years I haven't been the most "spiritual" of people. I had sought God out, trying to figure out where He was right in the midst of the worst moments, not feeling His presence when I was crying out to Him. To even aspire to figure out the mind of the Almighty is not something I could even fathom. His ways and His thoughts are far too complicated for me to even grasp the tiniest glimpse of most of the time.

I know He's been with me through the bad times, because His presence is very real and He's pouring out his blessings on my family. I strayed from Him, I gave up at times, but He was always there, watching out for me. I think it's like a parent and a child. Something bad happens, and you try to console your son or daughter, but they are beside themselves with emotion about what's going on and they clam up, push you aside, and no matter what you say or do, you can't make them feel better at that moment. So, being the loving parent you are, you back off a bit though you never leave. You don't push yourself on them, when they're ready to talk, to listen to your advice, to feel your love....when they're ready, they'll seek you out and you'll be there for them...just like you always have been and always will be. That's God. That's my take on it anyway, and that's what I see as happening over the past bit of time.

So, let's fast forward from then to "now". My life is busy and I don't take the time to seek out God as I should, as much I need, or as much as I desire to. But then, something happens to make you think again and re-examine where your priorities lie. Something happens to give you a whole new perspective...

My pastor recently challenged us to write some "thank yous" to a few people who have truly impacted your life and you want them to know. I wrote a
post about an amazing lady who has had a MAJOR impact on my life. (Please read it before continuing.) When I wrote that, I had heard months ago that she had cancer and only had a few months to live. I hadn't heard anything else since I was first told that. I'd asked for an email address, but didn't get one for whatever reason, so I never knew anything else. I wrote that "thank you" not sure if she'd ever know how much I appreciated her or not, but hoping at least that her husband would know. This past week, I was asked for my email address because her husband, my pastor from when I was in high school and college, wanted to contact me. I braced myself for the worst, but hoped for the best.

Here's what he said: ...forwarded a posting you placed on "My Space". Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words!! Lynn was taking chemo as I read them. I brought them over to her while she was still taking chemo. She said "obviously she was told about my condition", to which I replied, I don't think so. She said "Wow!"

Whether you know it or not, she has Ovarian Cancer and has about an 8% chance of surviving 5 years. She goes in tomorrow for a blood transfusion. Your kind words are valued and appreciated.

When you get a moment, drop us a line.

"The Cookie Monster and Diet Pepsi freak!". :-)

Every time I read that, tears come to my eyes. I'm overwhelmed by the blessing that God allowed me to experience, by letting me have the chance to let her know how much she has impacted my life. I'm also overwhelmed at being given the opportunity to hopefully help her experience a small blessing of knowing the appreciation that I have for her. And by her example, I hope to have just a small impact on the world I leave behind. As a youth pastor's wife, those are some big shoes to fill, to always be positive and leave behind a legacy of faithfulness on impressionable youth with whom I come into contact. Life hasn't been easy, and I don't want to hide that fact from anyone. The life of one who chooses to follow Christ is filled with challenges and hard times, but the triumphs outweigh those 1,000,000:1 and I'd never give up the life I've been given to do anything else. Pursuit of a high-paying career could be do-able, but I choose to work with children in an educational field. Pursuit of acquiring "stuff" could be attained, but I would never have the chance to impact others, and be the blessing that Lynn is. I'd just have a house full of stuff that will eventually be outdated or destroyed, and nothing to show for my life when it comes to eternity. So far, Lynn's impact on the world (as well as her husband's) has helped to influence me into making the choice to become (and stay) a pastor's wife. In turn, the last we heard, two of our former youth have themselves become youth pastors, one has committed to becoming a missionary or doing something of that nature for Christ, and numerous others have decided to follow Him with their lives in whatever career they choose to do, even if it's not full-time ministry.

You may never know the impact you have on those around you, but if you're lucky you'll find out just a glimpse of the possible impact your faithfulness to the Lord has made on this world. I choose to leave a legacy of following Christ, to impact young people, and to put my treasure up in Heaven. I haven't always done that in the past, but this is my desire from this point forward. With that, I'm ending with the lyrics of one of my all-time favorite songs (from my high school years), and oldie, but a goodie...

"FIND US FAITHFUL
sung by Steve Green

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness
Passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover
And the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them
To the road we each must find

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful