the more i've thought about it, the more i do not want to go to kansas this summer. i haven't seen my brothers in 6 years, or my nieces and nephews, so i would love to see them of course. but since i'm on leave, money is really tight and i honestly don't know how we'll be able to swing a trip out there at all. on top of that, nick now needs sinus surgery (yes, again) because of his allergies. kansas in june = wheat harvest + johnson grass...not a good equation for a kid with bad allergies, especially after surgery. so we'll see.
i've started looking for a job of some kind, but with taking 7 college classes and dealing with a baby and older kids too, that's going to be really hard. i need to make a certain amount if i do go to work to make it worth my time, otherwise, there's no need to bother. we'll see there too.
i wish i could just snap my fingers and fix everything that is not going well around here, but i can't. so i don't dwell on it all and figure it will all turn out okay in the end...even though the end isn't in sight at times.
it's 3 a.m. i just folded a bunch of laundry, filled the dryer and re-filled the washer. i have school assignments to do, i need to clean the house for the sitter for today, and i need to go back to sleep. i think i'll go back to bed for a couple of hours and then get up and do the quick-clean for the sitter's arrival. i do need sleep...
okay, enough for my middle-of-the-night ramblings, i doubt they make a lot of sense!
