insomniac...

yep, that's me! i can barely sleep through the night, and when i get woke up i can't get back to sleep. they told me to take benadryl, but i don't want to take it too far into the night and have a hard time getting up to get the kids to school!

the kids started back to school this week, and it seems weird not to be going with them. i know this leave is a good thing (for baby and college classes) but it's hard not going to work every day and wondering what i'm missing out on too! i miss hanging out with my coworkers...guess i'll be meandering down there to volunteer so i can still feel like i'm connected a little!

second day of school was canceled for tropical storm fay...and nothing happened, we barely even got a sprinkle of rain! now "she" is still hanging around and it's kind of windy out and we've gotten some rain tonight from her. my friends over in cocoa haven't gotten flooded in their house, i hope it stays that way since they just bought it and moved in this month!!!

my fall semester started this week, so i need to get on top of my assignments and not let them get out of hand at all. i have 2 extensions that i need to complete too, so we'll see if i can get them done soon! i should take my insomniac time to work on them. i've been trying to get myself tired so i can go back to sleep, but i guess i'd better roll with it and use the time from now on to work on school stuff...since i like to sleep a lot during the day!

i had some stuff i wanted to blog about a week or so ago, after reading a book for one of my summer classes, but i never got around to it. there was some pretty good stuff in there. i'm sure i'll have some interesting insightful stuff to blog this semester...i'm taking 4 psych classes and i'm sure i'll be psychoanalyzing myself! one of the classes is "preventive stress maintenance"...the guy at the book store said i'll need that one with all of my psych classes and a statistics class on top of it! greeeeeaaaaat!!! the other classes are "biblical counseling" which should be pretty good, "contemporary issues" which covers some interesting topics like divorce/remarriage, homosexuality, and a few others. then i have "social psych" too.

okay, i think i'm rambling now, but wanted to post a little update here.

still waiting for baby to decide to come...little stinker isn't cooperating with what mommy wants! (hopefully that's not a sign of things to come! haha) i just need to quit being pregnant already. the pain and dizziness and fatigue is all i can handle and i'm over it. now my ganglion cyst is back in my right hand, and i'm mentally fuzzy...i want my body back to myself!!! (well, except for the breastfeeding part...i won't have it "all" back for awhile...)

hopefully i'll have something more interesting to say next time...

back yard gator...

saturday afternoon i was sitting on the sofa and looking out at our serene little lake off our back yard. there was a black bird of some kind walking along the water. after a little while he went into the water and i thought he started swimming, after a closer look i realized that he wasn't swimming, it was a gator! he was totally stealth about getting the bird, no wings flapping, no feathers flying, the bird was there one second and gone the next! the gator started swimming back across the lake and i thought it was the last i'd see of him that day, but i was wrong...

a little later i looked out the glass door again and straight across from us, there in the yard of our "across the lake neighbors" the alligator was sunning himself and eyeing some birds, so i grabbed the camera and we had a little bit of a swamp safari photo shoot going on in our back yard. i'm pretty sure that dude is about 5-6 feet long!

here are some of the pics we got, you can click on the slideshow to see them bigger and still if you'd like...

I got the following devotional from the upper room daily devotional...

Jesus said, "Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" "In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets." "Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it."

-Matthew 7:7-14 (NRSV)


To him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory.

-Ephesians 3:20-21 (NRSV)

As a friend and I approached the entrance to the retreat center, we noticed the gate was closed with a chain draped around it. We stopped the car and wondered what to do. We honked the horn, but no one responded. We pressed the doorbell, but no one answered. We tried to phone the caretaker, but no one picked up.

After 10 minutes, we were beginning to get frustrated as the hot South African sun climbed higher in the sky. My friend walked up to the gate again and toyed with the padlock. To his surprise, the chain was not locked! He swung open the gate with ease and we entered the grounds, laughing heartily at our foolishness.

Throughout our lives, we encounter many closed doors, barred paths, and shuttered windows. But sometimes we assume that they are locked up tight; we don't even try to open them first. Instead, like my friend and me on that summer day, we worry, fret, and sweat!

The truth is that we have the spirit of God within us. When we are bold enough to attempt what God asks, with God's help, we will find gates swinging wide, pathways clearing, and windows thrown open.

just got me to thinking about stuff...not sure if the door i thought was shut is, but maybe it's time to look for other doors. i've been asking, searching and knocking, but it seems no one is listening...nothing has been given, found or opened lately except the narrow gate on the hard road. maybe at least it's the right direction, but i don't know.

my nights of insomnia magnify things and thoughts whir through my head and keep me up even longer...like tonight...i almost was able to go to sleep at about 1:30 a.m., but this happened and then that happened, and i found myself wide awake at 3:45 and still awake now as i type this at almost 4:30...no rest for the weary, right? all i know is i'm tired of being tired, and waiting for something to happen is driving me insane right now. hopefully things will change soon one way or another, limbo is not a fun place to be.