I wrote this on my MySpace...
"Water under the bridge...
I think I'm finally able to say that about a certain "catastrophic event" that occurred in my life. I'm finally over it, and though there are still scars, the pain is pretty much gone and now I can look at it from a different viewpoint. It's water under the bridge...
Bridges burned...
Was that bridge totally burned? Not that I'd go back and cross it and make it all like it was. But could the holes in that bridge be repaired so that it can be crossed from both sides? I'm willing to look at that possibility. I'd rather live in peace and have access to both sides of the water, rather than having to fight the current. I don't know. I'm ready to think about it now, even to the point of considering possibilites of being the first person to fill in a portion of the bridge. I guess we'll see, you can't live near a bridge and ignore the fact that it's there forever. Eventually, the bridge will have to be addressed. It's just what you do in the addressing of its' issues that truly matters...
"Bridge Under Construction"
It's funny how something so devastating at one point, still can be a blessing in so many ways. I am very happy for the place where God has brought us, the new friends we've made, and the new opportunities that lie ahead, but I miss many aspects of "what used to be." I would never ask for "now" to be changed back to "then", but it no longer hurts to see pictures of people, or to go certain places. I can pass by, wondering how things are going, but no longer feeling pain and hurt, just curious what God's doing there now.... It's such a freeing feeling to be "over it" and not feel that pain any longer. I only want to mend the bridges, coexist in the same community peacefully, and renew friendships that were seemingly severed because it was the "right thing to do" in order to "take the high road". The circle is coming back around and I am so glad that I can face these things without fear or hurt. I'm not sure what I'd ever say if given the opportunity to have a discussion with certain people, but I do feel I can handle it now, and that it could be a very good discussion if it were to ever take place. I think my whole viewpoint has been skewed, and it's been slowly changing. The song we sang this morning at church really spoke to me in the first service, and I felt so full of worship during the second service because of my revelation. Here are the lyrics...
Be Magnified
(Words & Music by Lynn DeShazo)
I have made You too small in my eyes
Oh Lord, forgive me
When I have believed in a lie
That You were unable to help me
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show Yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified
Oh Lord, be magnified
Be magnified, Oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing You can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on You
Be magnified, Oh Lord, be magnified
I have leaned on the wisdom of man
Oh God, forgive me
When I have responded to them
Instead of Your light and Your mercy
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show Yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified
Oh Lord, be magnified
Be magnified, Oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing You can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on You
Be magnified, Oh Lord, be magnified
I was seeing God as being smaller than He is, and was letting "man's" thoughts affect my whole life. Still working on that bridge from my end....
