Church was awesome this morning...

We finally went back to St. James UMC this morning. We've been wanting to go, but pride kept getting in the way. But it was the best sermon, and timely for us, and it was just awesome. In particular, this song really touched me because it totally sums up the way I've felt a lot in the past several months. Of course it helps that it makes reference to my favorite Bible verse, Jeremiah 29:11. It was just so nice to go to church and be blessed, unfortunately that hasn't happened in a lot of churches we've visited lately. It was also really cool that Elisabeth wanted to go to KindeRock too, rather than sit with us in "big" church.

I Will Sing
by Don Moen

Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart

Chorus:
I will sing I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing

Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart

(Chorus)

Giving Thanks Always...

Okay, so this year was not a year I'd like to really live through again, but I am definitely thankful for many things and have been richly blessed.

My "Thankfulness" List:
1. A God who loves me and puts up with my whiny-ness and short-comings. He's provided much more than I deserve!
2. A husband who loves me and puts up with my whiny-ness and short-comings, too. He's a truly remarkable man, though I don't let him know I think that enough. His love for God and his passion to reach youth is amazing, and even in trying times he's never lost his love for either one.
3. Two wonderful, healthy children, who have really shown me how awesome they are by surviving all of the changes we've endured as a family, and have proven to be some truly classy and resilent kids!
4. Family who loves us, even though we don't see them as often as we'd like.
5. A home to call our own. An especially big one, considering we were basically homeless for about 6 weeks this Fall.
6. Jobs.
7. Transportation, even though it's been a little testy, we still have some form of it.
8. A wonderful opportunity to be involved in a new church plant, I can't wait to see what 2006 brings with that.
9. The possibility of going back to school in January, to finish my teaching degree.
10. Health. I'm thankful that through all of the stresses and changes, our family has stayed healthy!!!

Today has been a good day. Brined turkey, dressing, taters and gravy, yams, corn, pecan pie, cheesecake....YUM!!!

Now onto a busy holiday season..... "sigh"!

Okay, so here's my test to the question of the previous post....

because my patience is REALLY being tested here!!!

We got the van last night. I had someone drive me to Jerry's work 20 minutes south of my school, picked up the rental car and the cash from his check. Drove 40 minutes, to 20 minutes the opposite direction from my school, paid for the van and they parked it out front. I then drove back to Jerry's work and picked him up. We decided that since they didn't charge us storage fees after all, that we'd use the "extra" (not really extra, but we had more than we'd figured on) money to get Elisabeth's soccer shoes out of layaway at Wal-Mart, and we drove to Shoe Carnival and found some Adidas soccer shoes for Nick (he's a hard size to find for at the "cheap" places these days). Drove 60 minutes back to the van and got it, and decided to drop the rental off at one of the Enterprise places. Drove 15 minutes PAST our house, only to find out they won't let you drop off except during their work hours. On the way BACK to our house, the van stalled at a light, but did start back up. It idles funny, kind of speeds up and slows down, back and forth. And the engine has a ping in it that wasn't there when we dropped it off!

So now I have to call them and tell them it'll be at the school and they need to be prepared to fix it today, or give me my $880 back so I can get another car NOW!!! Ugh ugh ugh!!! They were willing to take the title instead of money....."sigh"!

Okay, so God is big enough to take care of this! I just need to let Him! (and here I thought life was going to get easier and less drama-filled----my bad! LOL)

Do we really believe that God is big enough to take care of us?

Hmmm....that's a question asked on a friend's blog, and quite a tough question too! She is usually very good at posing some very thought provoking questions or insights, and this post is no different. I love to read her blog, just to get some inspiration. She's been through a lot this past year, and seems to be handling it very well. I feel I can learn a lot from her insights, and am blessed every time I read her blog. She says, "My sincere hope is that in this moment, your answer is yes."

So, to answer the question....I think my answer has been "no" more than it's been "yes" lately. But I'm realizing that my weakness is to try to handle things myself, and I'm working on giving it over to God. For me, it's hard to do because I'm a control freak and tend to be OCD about things. I like to be in charge, and have a hard time handing things over to someone else. I am realizing lately how much I need to rely on God, and how much I need to let Him have true control. Yes, God is big enough to take care of us....I do believe that. I just need to act on that belief more often and let Him have His way, rather than me always having my way!

I do see where His plan is being worked out in the past 18 months with us. I strongly didn't want to leave our church back in March 2004. Then, I strongly didn't want to leave our "hometown" this past Spring. Things didn't go as planned, and we were able to return to our "hometown" in August. I said then that I believed that He needed me to be willing to give up what I was holding on to most, in order to let me have it. I love our community, and am so thankful that He's led us back here. I love being a Youth Pastor's wife, and love working with the students, and we see Him leading us into a place of service in that area also. I think it's one of those things where if you take it for granted or are too stubborn about it, God will take it away for awhile so you can realize just how blessed you are, and how much you truly appreciate the place He's called you to, and the calling He's given you. (It kind of reminds me of being a parent and putting my kids on restriction from something they love...to get their attention and make them think about their actions... Wow, I'm such a child sometimes!)

Hopefully I can keep my eyes on Him, and not on me. That's the biggest struggle I have most of the time!

Having a Job Experience?

I just ran into a friend this morning, whom I hadn't seen since February or March. Our daughters used to go to the same preschool, last year were in dance together, and haven't seen each other since. Anyway, she's known of some of our struggles over the previous year, but hadn't really been in touch to hear our latest "junk". LOL I gave her a short update of what's been going on, and she was like "Wow! You have all kinds of 'gremlins' attacking you, don't you? Just remember that your guardian angels are working overtime to keep worse things from happening, and God will bring great blessings out of this 'Job Experience'." I think she said it much more eloquently than that, but that was the jist. I never REALLY thought about this as being a Job Experience....I'm not sure I'm handling it as well as Job would've either. I wonder if God's disappointed in my lack of faith and hope at times, and utter lack of joy altogether. I'm sure He is, so what do I do about it? I'm working on it, and seem to be handling things okay most of the time. But I feel really weak at times and just want to curl up and shrivel into nothingness.

I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, as it looks like things will be making a turn for the better really soon. It's funny, because there are many things that are going to be happening within the next few weeks to help us make that turn!
1.) We'll be getting our van back this week, still down to one vehicle, but no longer renting one! (Talk about throwing money away! UGH!)
2.) Thanksgiving is coming, which is always a highlight of my year---I love cooking the whole meal and all. (I'd love to check into helping serve at a community dinner for the needy this year, just not sure if there's anything in our local town or if we'd have to go into the city for that.)
3.) I am getting a bonus at work just before Christmas, thanks to our school earning "A+" money---we'll have a good Christmas AND maybe we can use part of it to get another vehicle.
4.) See #3, we might be able to get another vehicle soon.
5.) It's looking like we may have found our ministry, in a new church plant in the area! Still praying about this one, and wanting some definite affirmation that this is God's leading. But everything seems to be pointing in this direction right now.
6.) A New Year is coming!!! I'm looking forward to what great things are in store for us next year, and will be able to "sigh" a sigh of relief when this one is behind us! LOL

Oh yeah, when we were moving our "stuff", I had to leave after loading the furniture because someone at my school was keeping my kids and I'd thought we'd be able to be back by a time earlier than was reality. Anyway, after I left, it started raining and Jerry was loading all of the boxes into the truck by himself. On one trip up the ramp, his feet slipped out from under him, and a heavy load of boxes on the dolly landed on his leg---with the dolly hitting his leg pretty hard. He didn't think he'd broken it, but it made him lightheaded from the pain for a little while, and was swollen pretty badly for the next couple of days. Well, this week he's had bruising in his foot and swelling in his ankle and two knots/swollen areas on his shin. We took him to the ER last night because he could barely bear weight on it when he got home from work. They x-rayed to make sure it wasn't broken, and said he's got some pretty severe deep tissue damage and that he should stay off of it. Yeah right, not when he's on his feet at work all day! LOL So, the drama never ends around here! LOL

I'm praying this "Job Experience" will soon be over!

Settlin' In...

Our house looks almost normal now! Yay! There's still a ton of boxes to go through, and decide where to store some stuff (sewing/craft stuff, my "teacher" stuff, Jerry's "YP" stuff). But, if you don't look in the room where those boxes are, the rest of it looks pretty normal now. Our landlord came by this evening, then the owners were in town and stopped by too. We're going to get a water treatment system put in, and hopefully all of the rest of the needed repairs will be finished soon. Then I can unpack more and put stuff away better.

Jobs are going well too. Jerry will be made full-time at the end of the month (after a "90 day review"), so that's good, and just in time for Christmas too! Hopefully I'll be getting my bonus before Thanksgiving, but we'll see. (Our school got A+ money and decided to spend it on staff bonuses.....wooooohoooo!!!)

We had a good meeting with a new (to the area) pastor about his church plant. We're praying about how God will lead us in our involvement in this new ministry.

So yeah, things are getting better. Just waiting for God's blessings in the way of transportation.... (TRYING to be patient! LOL)

Nothing Like Being Shocked Out of Your Sleep!!!

Jerry was finishing setting up the computer in it's new location when he heard a loud sound, a thud, and the electricity went out and came back on. A car had wrecked in our yard, snapped the support wire to the electric pole, and ended up on it's side. He came in frantic, looking for a flashlight----thus I awoke! (I'd heard the noise of the wreck, but went back to sleep.) We went out there and there was no one in the car, and no body was flung and lying on the ground anywhere near it. After the deputy came (and sent everyone away), we went inside and were watching/listening out the window, and apparently someone stole the car (a friend of their kids maybe?), so that would explain why they were not around----fled the scene! The electric company made the repairs to the pole. The towing company came out and dragged the car through the rest of our yard, on it's side still, until it righted itself in the shallow ditch. Yeah, yard work is going to be fun this week! So here I am, 2 1/2 hours after waking, and now I'm coughing and can't sleep! Guess the guy mustn't have been hurt too badly! I wish I had a good camera to take night shots, it would've been a great one to post!

On the unpacking front...
We've got the living room almost "done". The dining room and kitchen are getting there too. I haven't started on the kids' rooms at all yet, except for their beds. I guess that will be tomorrow's goal (between church and our meeting with the new pastor). It's so nice to have our things out of storage, it's amazing how much we take our "stuff" for granted until we don't have it. We were fortunate in the fact that we didn't lose our stuff, we just didn't have access to it for awhile. I can't imagine the feeling of the hurricane victims who lose everything, and hopefully I'll never have to experience that!

Stressin' and Depressin'...

I got a depression quiz in a health updates newsletter and according to it I have chronic depression (no, really?). So I thought, let me find a stress quiz...over 20 points and you're stressed and need to find some stress management techniques (out of about 35-40 symptoms)...my score was around 120!!! Yikes!!! Then, I found one of those that have the "life changes" in the past 2 years...300 and over is "high susceptibility to stress-related illnesses"....yeah, I got 653!!!

Then, I found this quote on one of the sites I was searching..."Stress was vital to survival once an innate response to danger. Civilization, gives you the opportunity to experience an adrenaline rush at every traffic light. And, since all you're doing is sitting in your car the elaborate preparations your body makes are wasted. Worse than wasted: every heartbeat at elevated blood pressure takes its toll on the arteries. The excess fats and glucose don't get metabolized right away, so they stay in the bloodstream. The fats contribute to the plaques that form inside blood vessels, which can lead to heart disease or strokes; high levels of glucose are a step in the direction of diabetes."

I can't be going down a good path health-wise!!!

Oh yeah, I've gotten 7 hours of sleep in the past two nights, that's good for me, right?!? LOL

Mini Update on "Moving"...

Okay, have "stuff"!!! Ate off of REAL dishes at a REAL table with REAL food and had sweet tea made fresh by me, along with baked salmon, acorn squash, corn and biscuits for dinner with my family in our dining room!!! That was tonight!!!

It's been almost like Christmas around here! Much more unpacking to do, but ALL of our stuff is out of storage for the first time in 18 MONTHS!!!

I've got more to say about our "stuff moving ordeal", but I didn't get to bed until 3 a.m. yesterday, and it's almost midnight now! Soccer season is starting, and life is going to get crazy!

We are meeting with a group of people who are interested in helping the pastor who is starting the church here this weekend. We're excited about the possibilities that might come from this, so we're praying about following God and doing what He wants concerning this church plant.

Things are still stressful financially, but life is getting better. (And my "bonus" from work in a few weeks will definitely be a PLUS!!!)

Tons of errands tomorrow....leaving the house at 6:30 and won't be home until after soccer practice ends, around 8 p.m.!!! "YAWN!!!!!!!!" :o