I'm reminded about that old TV show (most of you probably have no clue what I'm talking about), that had all of these guys pretending to be the same guy, and only one was actually him. I'm beginning to wonder if this position search is like a game show.........."Here's what you could win... Look what's behind door #1, door #2 has all of this......., and #3 is full of this........." It seems like there are a few possibilities out there, you just have to figure out which door is the right one to walk through and wait for it to open...........and hope you're a winner!
Stress has subsided, peace has presented itself, and I'm wondering and waiting..........which door will it be? Right now there are three choices. All three doors could open, none could too........guess we'll have to wait and see, but the suspense is about to kill me!!! haha
I was confounded by something profound I said in IM tonight though.........referring to not being stressed and finally seeming to have hope again........ "When you find yourself holding onto the end of your rope, that's when it's time to let go and allow God to catch you!"
Praying for all of my transitional friends, who are walking similar roads....the journey has it's pitfalls, but it's never boring!
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Spring Break..........Over.......
Wah! I think, if I counted right, there are 43 school days left until summer break!!! I'm hopeful that this will be a great summer with great things in store for us!
Easter was a great day for us. We went to church this morning, met up with our friend Rod (who's visiting from WV to check out some Spring Training action), and enjoyed a great dinner at Macaroni Grill with him. It's nice to reconnect with good friends, refreshing to hang out with him again. We used to do stuff all of the time "back in the day" in WV----mostly baseball related, but a lot was Emmaus related as well. Miss some things about then, but glad we're in FL now...just miss the Alley Cats games, pre- and post-game tailgate parties.....good times, great friends!
This week was, overall, pretty good. I did release the stress of things and have felt great all week! (It's so nice to not be feeling that pressure any longer...the Lord is good and is going to provide what we need!) There have been a couple of times when I have been angered by a couple of situations, but they actually weren't stress-related issues....actually were justifiable and acceptable given the circumstances of the said situations. But the situations are past and are no longer my problem.....nice to be able to just let things go!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! :)
I have found renewed satisfaction in sewing this week, it's a great way to be creative and productive, and since it brings joy to my little girl, it's definitely rewarding!!! It started off as a quest to make her an Easter dress and a skirt for myself, and not to spend much money on either. I ended up spending under $10 and got a pattern and enough fabric to make her two dresses and a matching reversible purse, a top/capri pants outfit, and a skirt for myself. Then I started digging through boxes and found TONS of other fabric I could use as well....she has at least two more dresses coming from this same pattern, and some tops/shorts outfits (by modifying the pants pattern). I do have to say, seeing Elisabeth dance around like a ballerina and thinking she's as pretty as a princess in a dress made by her mommy, now that's a classic moment there........gotta luv it!
Busy week ahead.......things to do, places to go, work to return to........... Have a good one!
Easter was a great day for us. We went to church this morning, met up with our friend Rod (who's visiting from WV to check out some Spring Training action), and enjoyed a great dinner at Macaroni Grill with him. It's nice to reconnect with good friends, refreshing to hang out with him again. We used to do stuff all of the time "back in the day" in WV----mostly baseball related, but a lot was Emmaus related as well. Miss some things about then, but glad we're in FL now...just miss the Alley Cats games, pre- and post-game tailgate parties.....good times, great friends!
This week was, overall, pretty good. I did release the stress of things and have felt great all week! (It's so nice to not be feeling that pressure any longer...the Lord is good and is going to provide what we need!) There have been a couple of times when I have been angered by a couple of situations, but they actually weren't stress-related issues....actually were justifiable and acceptable given the circumstances of the said situations. But the situations are past and are no longer my problem.....nice to be able to just let things go!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! :)
I have found renewed satisfaction in sewing this week, it's a great way to be creative and productive, and since it brings joy to my little girl, it's definitely rewarding!!! It started off as a quest to make her an Easter dress and a skirt for myself, and not to spend much money on either. I ended up spending under $10 and got a pattern and enough fabric to make her two dresses and a matching reversible purse, a top/capri pants outfit, and a skirt for myself. Then I started digging through boxes and found TONS of other fabric I could use as well....she has at least two more dresses coming from this same pattern, and some tops/shorts outfits (by modifying the pants pattern). I do have to say, seeing Elisabeth dance around like a ballerina and thinking she's as pretty as a princess in a dress made by her mommy, now that's a classic moment there........gotta luv it!
Busy week ahead.......things to do, places to go, work to return to........... Have a good one!
Thursday, March 24, 2005
"God I was angry at you but then I realized it wasn't your fault."
Great words another YM wife read and helped her move on from the pain of a situation.....sounds like a good idea to me. I'm no longer stressing, I gave that up either Monday evening or early Tuesday morning this week---not sure which. (I read the above post on Tuesday morning, so that may have helped it along. But I think I was already headed down that path by Monday night.) I have peace about the future and peace about the now, and the past is behind and water under the bridge. I realize that it's up to me to see clearly where the hurt is coming from and not to focus the blame on the wrong thing. I have released my hurt and frustration from this past year and am all for moving on...
Blessed are those who trust in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.
The Prophet Jeremiah
Blessed are those who trust in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.
The Prophet Jeremiah
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
In The Same Boat...
Perfect Article by Len Evans...published in YOUTHWORKER Journal Mar/Apr 2005. Check it out!
http://www.youthspecialties.com/articles/topics/personal_stuff/yada.php
This article, at least the first 3/4 of it, describes our past year almost to a T. Circumstances and details might be a tad bit different, but it's almost a mirror image of us. I could've written an almost identical article!
"The Rest of the Story"...who knows what it will be for us? I know there are no answers right now. Everything still looks dark and bleak. But I know that if God can help turn someone else's "Darkest Night" into a temporary situation, then there is still hope that our desire to minister to youth can still be fulfilled. I am learning to lean on God, even though he doesn't seem to be here; and learning that until the door opens, sometimes you have to take things into your own hands and make things work. I can't just sit and wait, I must work and wait. Whatever I must do may not be enjoyable, but it's necessary and I am strong and can endure. There are okay days, like today. And there are terribly dark days, like yesterday. But each day I survive the turmoil and tension, it brings me one day closer to blessings and peace. I am working on finding joy in even the darkest of times, and the fact that I can still laugh has helped to keep me grounded. I could easily let myself be absorbed into depression and despair, but for the sake of my family I cannot and will not allow that to happen. I know that "this too shall pass" and that blessings will abound for us once more. Just trying to wait on God........that's the hardest part.
http://www.youthspecialties.com/articles/topics/personal_stuff/yada.php
This article, at least the first 3/4 of it, describes our past year almost to a T. Circumstances and details might be a tad bit different, but it's almost a mirror image of us. I could've written an almost identical article!
"The Rest of the Story"...who knows what it will be for us? I know there are no answers right now. Everything still looks dark and bleak. But I know that if God can help turn someone else's "Darkest Night" into a temporary situation, then there is still hope that our desire to minister to youth can still be fulfilled. I am learning to lean on God, even though he doesn't seem to be here; and learning that until the door opens, sometimes you have to take things into your own hands and make things work. I can't just sit and wait, I must work and wait. Whatever I must do may not be enjoyable, but it's necessary and I am strong and can endure. There are okay days, like today. And there are terribly dark days, like yesterday. But each day I survive the turmoil and tension, it brings me one day closer to blessings and peace. I am working on finding joy in even the darkest of times, and the fact that I can still laugh has helped to keep me grounded. I could easily let myself be absorbed into depression and despair, but for the sake of my family I cannot and will not allow that to happen. I know that "this too shall pass" and that blessings will abound for us once more. Just trying to wait on God........that's the hardest part.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Destruction.....
Today I stumbled across a great Lenten devo site, of course I think Jerry may have mentioned it to me, but I'd never seen it until I was looking under "favorites" in the devotions folder. It's called "Journey to the Cross" and it is a truly reflective experience if you let it be. I decided to go back and start at the beginning of the "journey" and read, prayed and reflected on all of the first week's entries...
Presence of God--When the waves threaten our lives, when the storm clouds roll in, we turn to you, O God. Hold our hands, whisper calm words to our hearts, cry with us and remind us that when we hurt, your heart cries too.
"O God, I try to appear confident, assured, and in control. I confess I am often gripped by fear. Take away my fear. You are my refuge, so give me hope, so I may face today with confidence. Enable the tragedies of life to help me reconnect to what really matters. Allow the waters of baptism to wash over me again, cleansing me from my sins and connecting me with your love. Show me my weaknesses and help me become strong. I want to build on a solid foundation. I want my life to be ready for the storms. Keep me from the temptation, the laziness, of building a life on the shifting sands. Life often seems unfair. When the waters of destruction seem to threaten my existence, help me to remember you are the God who meets us in our brokenness to help pick up the pieces. Amen"
I know that God is there, but my life seems so dry and dead right now. I don't feel I have much of a purpose, much of a future, much of a hope. I am struggling to have my hope restored. I "know" that He loves me and is taking care of me. It just seems like right now it's from a distance, like an absentee father; one who moves far away and sends the child support check whenever he feels like, one who only calls on your birthday and holidays but he forgot this year until it was past. My faith and hope is weak right now, I am to blame because I haven't been working on my end of the relationship, so that's what I'm trying to do now. Hopefully I'll be able to see improvements and have peace about everything again, or at least take steps to feel more peaceful in my life...
Benediction--Restore our fortunes, LORD, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. (A Psalm of Ascents)
Check it out, I think you might enjoy the devos. I am!!! http://www.journeytothecross.org/todaysdevotion/index.cfm
Presence of God--When the waves threaten our lives, when the storm clouds roll in, we turn to you, O God. Hold our hands, whisper calm words to our hearts, cry with us and remind us that when we hurt, your heart cries too.
"O God, I try to appear confident, assured, and in control. I confess I am often gripped by fear. Take away my fear. You are my refuge, so give me hope, so I may face today with confidence. Enable the tragedies of life to help me reconnect to what really matters. Allow the waters of baptism to wash over me again, cleansing me from my sins and connecting me with your love. Show me my weaknesses and help me become strong. I want to build on a solid foundation. I want my life to be ready for the storms. Keep me from the temptation, the laziness, of building a life on the shifting sands. Life often seems unfair. When the waters of destruction seem to threaten my existence, help me to remember you are the God who meets us in our brokenness to help pick up the pieces. Amen"
I know that God is there, but my life seems so dry and dead right now. I don't feel I have much of a purpose, much of a future, much of a hope. I am struggling to have my hope restored. I "know" that He loves me and is taking care of me. It just seems like right now it's from a distance, like an absentee father; one who moves far away and sends the child support check whenever he feels like, one who only calls on your birthday and holidays but he forgot this year until it was past. My faith and hope is weak right now, I am to blame because I haven't been working on my end of the relationship, so that's what I'm trying to do now. Hopefully I'll be able to see improvements and have peace about everything again, or at least take steps to feel more peaceful in my life...
Benediction--Restore our fortunes, LORD, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. (A Psalm of Ascents)
Check it out, I think you might enjoy the devos. I am!!! http://www.journeytothecross.org/todaysdevotion/index.cfm
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